April 29, 2008

Inter-spammers, and other such nonsense.

Alright, here goes the longest blog you've every read. Ever. Seriosly. Go find yourself a pillow.
So every time I log onto AIM, at some point in time, someone sends me and AIM crush thing. Have you ever gotten one? Yes? No? Maybe so? Well if you have, surely you must feel my buring RAGE at the people who are sending them. Who wants to hear about some fake person crushing on you when you could be outside doing something eventful like flying a kite [that's what I do] or . . .eating a bag of potato chips. . .I guess. They send you something along the lines of, "You have a new AIm crush!" then it gives you a link. I clicked on it, and for those of you who have yet to get this life-threatening message, DO NOT CLICK THE LINK. Sure, it's not really that weird, but I hate pop ups! And maybe you don't, but pop ups annoy me! they just keep popping and popping and popping and SO ON AND SO FORTH. The just don't stop! So anyway, the link goes to some love quiz. And if you read the bottom, in really, REALLY small print, it says the prices for if you take the quiz on your phone. Did you know that my cell phone person-thing, AT&T, was charged $29.99 if you take that quiz on your phone?!? That's ridiculous! Here, read the angry person letter I wrote to one of the spammers who sent me an AIM crush.

"Do you have a problem? Do you get JOY out of spamming? Well you must, because you keep sending these retarded AIM crushes to people who could give less than a flying crap about some fake person over the internet, who APPARENTLY stalked that person enough to know enough about them to have a crush! We don't CARE! Just stop sending them, or else you'll get more hate mail/IM's from angered people who have better things to do than be mad at some stalker! A very, very, stupid-looking, time-wasting, probably animal-hating and waffle iron abusing, stalker who knows NOTHING other than what that person's MySpace page or AIM page says! I KNOW i have other things I could be doing than sending this angry IM, but I'm not doing it, because you're so downright dumb that i have to forcefully shove this information into your probably pea-sized brain just so you can get the picture! WE DON'T WANT YOUR AIM CRUSHES! SO JUST LEAVE US ALONE, YOU OHIO-HATING, STAMP COLLECTOR! Stop spamming! No one likes it! Except yo momma, who probably sits around, thinking the whole ordeal is cute! So stalker's momma, you think this is cute?!?! It's not! So just slap yourself and your clearly brain-cancer-infected son/daughter! GOOD DAY, STALKER AND STALKER'S MOMMA!"

Yes, I did actually take the time to type it all out in a tiny, AIM box. Let me tell you, it looks a lot bigger on Blospot.

On a different note. . .transcribers. [NOT MY IDEA COUGHDAVIDCOUGH]
Wouldn't you like to have one? Wait wait wait. You DO know what a trascriber is, don't you? Yes? No? Maybe so? Well I didn't at first. Well as someone so graciously [insert sarcasm] told me, a transcriber is something that will type your words down as you speak them. As in, 'I'm sitting here trying to do my Comp Essay, and I began with 'once upon a time there was a pony named Billy who enjoyed water parks' the transcriber would then transfer my words and type them down on the computer. Cool, yes? That's what I thought, too. Life would be so much easier! And you'd be able to look UP while you type, instead of watching your nimble fingers fly across the keys like nobodies business. My only problem would be what to do if there was a word that the transcriber didn't know. Like foogoogoomeyer. Is it a word? No. Could it still be used? Heck yes. So I suppose then one would have to look down at his or her fingers and carefully spell out F-O-O-G-O-O-G-O-O-M-E-Y-E-R. That would be the only problem. But hey, how often do you use the word foogoogoomeyer? Not often, I hope.

Which do you prefer, flip flops or MAN flops? Well, if you're a girl, I would think you prefer flip flops. If you're a guy, well, let's HOPE you prefer man flops. I wear flip flops. Of course, I don't wear them a lot. The weather outside is stil rather chilly, and I would like to keep my toes as they are. I wear them plenty in cold weather when I'm doing something simple like bringing in the groceries. That's just a short, simple trip. I know that last year, or two years ago, or whenever, I wore flip flops almost every day, even in the winter. Unless there was snow on the ground. Then I would switch to tennis shoes. Durr. So far, the only flip flop wearing I've done at school was for a brief 80 minutes when I traded shoes with Megan for science because we had to wear close-toed shoes. Then I was wearing new brown flip flops from Old Navy. Old Navy and Walgreens have cheap flip flops. Not cheap as in, 'omg it broke already', cheap as in 'wow, 5 for 2 dollars'. I like those flip flops. Or man flops, whichever you prefer. But, no offense men, regular flip flops for girls are so much more pretty. And we can wear pink one with flowers and sequins without being called gay by the local homophobe on Fifth Street.

Battleship. He wants me to talk about Battleship! Don't get me wrong, it's an amazing game, but how can I write about that? "OHH NOO! HE SHOT DOWN MY STARSHOOTER!" [sorry, I have Star Wars Battleship] hmm, what else is there to say? B5? Ouch, I know you're angry but please don't throw your Submarine at me? That incident at Band Camo wasn't my fault? The spaghetti magically popped into your lap and I just happened to be standing there with the plate? Yes, because I can really rant about Battleship. . .

Well, seeing as it's already 10.53 PM, I'd better take my leave. After all, I stil have a shower to take. Then I have to type my new novel. I'm stuck on my older one. Actually I'm not, I just don't feel like typing it. So I'll rant tomorrow or something, seeing as it's early dismissal, and it'll be a lot, lot longer. Becaause I'll have three hours to do it. Not 45 minutes. GAHH! Now it's 10.54! Toodles, my ravashing pet turtles!

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